Published: March 27, 2008 11:59 am         

Iowa Hawkeyes' legal woes no joke

I received a joke in my e-mail about a week ago.

I had to read it, because it was from Mom. Often I’ll delete e-mails like that, but when Mom sends you a joke in the e-mail, you have to read it. Those are the e-mail rules when you visit my computer.

Anyway, the joke went something like this:

A woman in Iowa City calls the police.

“Officer,” she says, “Help me please! Someone’s breaking into my house!”

“We’re really busy right now,” the officer says. “Just get the guy’s jersey number and we’ll get back to you.”



A little funny, but a little sad, too.

The joke reflects the public’s current perception of the Hawkeye football program, and unfortunately, that’s not funny at all. I don’t know how many people I’ve talked to — some of them rabid Hawkeye supporters — who lately have been rolling their eyes whenever the football program gets mentioned. They’ll mutter something along the lines of, “A bunch of crooks.” Often times, they’ll mutter something else that’s not appropriate in a family newspaper.

This is disappointing, because most of the Iowa football team certainly is not a bunch of crooks. I’ve met some of the players, I’ve talked with some of them. I even know some of their parents. The kids I know are good kids. It’s too bad they’ve been lumped in with a few kids who have done some bad things.

That’s how it works, though, when you’re in the public eye.

This is the problem Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz is facing as spring football practice opens this season. It would be great if the only problem for Ferentz was wins and losses, because this is something Ferentz is fully equipped to deal with. He’s a coach — a good one — and few are more capable of re-energizing a program that has gone 12-13 over the past two seasons. This is why Ferentz makes the big bucks. He’s one of those guys who can turn mediocrity into success.

Unfortunately, Ferentz also needs to find a way to deal with Iowa’s issues away from the practice field, as well as deal with the public’s perception of those issues.

At least six players have been dismissed from the team since last fall for serious legal problems — with allegations of things like drugs, theft and sexual assault.

This isn’t the kind of legal trouble that a normal college kid might get into. This isn’t a matter of driving too fast down Main Street, getting into a scrap outside a tavern or turning the music up too loud on a Saturday night. That kind of conduct is stupid but forgivable.

The kinds of serious mistakes too many Iowa football players are making are stupid as well — but they’re not as forgivable.

“That continues to be disappointing,” Ferentz said at his press conference Wednesday. “We’ll continue to work and be diligent.”

According to an Associated Press article, Ferentz is seriously considering creating a new staff position that would focus on “player development” and help educate and provide one-on-one tutelage to Iowa’s players — especially the younger ones — about proper conduct.

In other words, a baby-sitter. A baby-sitter that will probably make about $60,000 per year.

One of my sports writers said he’d be happy to apply for that job. He had better interview better than me, though, because I have a longer résumé.

Is an overpaid baby-sitter the answer to Iowa’s legal troubles? Will creating a new staff position to teach players about proper behavior off the field ease the public’s discontent with the Iowa football team?

I guess we might find out.

I do hope Kirk and Company can get things straightened out — both on and off the field — because when spring football practice opens a year from now I want to be reading and writing about who’s going to start at running back, who looks good at linebacker and which team on the schedule will give the Hawkeyes the most problems.

I’d rather not be reading and writing about which players are guilty, which players are innocent and which players have the best lawyers.

In the meantime, I guess I’ll memorize all the players’ jersey numbers — in case I have to call the cops.



James Grob writes for Ottumwa (Iowa) Courier. He can be contacted at sports@ottumwacourier.com.